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Thought of the Week - Unreasonable Hospitality

Updated: Jan 21


My family and I recently enjoyed a trip to Italy.  It was amazing and we made memories that truly will last a lifetime!  Knowing the 9-hour flight would be a great opportunity to sink my teeth into a new book, I asked a good friend if she had any good book recommendations and without hesitation she offered up “Unreasonable Hospitality.”  It was a great read about the journey of an award-winning restauranteur and the leadership philosophy he developed as he took Eleven Madison Park, a struggling two-star brasserie, on to earn four stars from the New York Times, three Michelin stars, and at some point, was named the best restaurant in the world.  Will Guidara pulled this massive transformation off not only by hiring the right talent, curating the best food, and paying extreme attention to detail, all of which he did.  He accredits his team offering hospitality that was so memorable, so over the top it could only be described as unreasonable, as being the key differentiator that ultimately pulled this restaurant to the top.  The book was so good.  In fact, I think there’s a common thread between a real-life personal experience (which I’m about to recount), the experience of this award-winning restauranteur, and the work we do on whatever team we’re on that validates the immense power of “Unreasonable Hospitality.”  That leaders from all industries seeking to elevate ordinary transactions into unforgettable experiences by giving people more than they expect … is not only good for the soul, but also for business.

 

 

Italy, Designer Shoes, and Forever Memories … “Unreasonable Hospitality” in Action

 

To set the stage, in addition to eating the best food we had ever eaten in our lives, enjoying the most impressive views of Southern Italy and historic sites in Rome, and doing ‘all the things’ you’d expect a family to do on their first trip to this beautiful country … I had it in my head (and in the budget 😉) that before we left Rome I was going to indulge and buy myself my first Designer something.  I didn’t care what it was … I just wanted to spend more than I should, on something I didn’t need, in a country I always dreamed of going to … and I wanted that ‘something’ to of course be from an Italian Designer while in Rome.  My motivation for this super-indulgent request was likely driven by the combination of a milestone birthday this year, my young adult kids becoming more and more independent, and feeling like it ‘might’ be time to reap a little reward for all those years of being super frugal and oh so responsible!  So, on our last night of the trip, my family was spent but my son agreed to go shopping with me so I could explore and hopefully check this item off my bucket list! 

 

It was so much fun to get mother-son time and we hit all the obvious stores … Valentino, Gucci, Dolce Gabbana, Prada, etc.  My goal was to walk through them each to see if something jumped out at me and I would just go with whatever drew my attention the most.  So, we stood outside in line for each store and waited patiently until the ‘man in the black suit’ let us in and then we were escorted around each store as we browsed.  Candidly, it was kind of a cold process … but we just went with it.  As we progressed, I saw a few things that piqued my interest, but nothing was really saying “I must have this”.  Except for a pair of black shoes in the window at Valentino, which I kept mentally going back to.  Then when we were close to finishing our rounds, we walked through a store that shall remain nameless, and I made the fatal mistake of touching a handbag!  Yikes!  The associate following me leapt between me and the purse and yelled something like “mam, please - don’t - touch - the - purse”!  It was startling and it made me jump back, put my hands up and instantly I felt diminished.  I clearly wasn’t well versed enough in how to carry yourself in a designer house of fashion … so I apologized, and my son and I just left.  I’m sure she was just doing her job … but the way she did it made me not want to be there.  When we walked out, I second guessed whether I even needed to go home with this type of luxury anyway.  You know that feeling in grade school when you got scolded for doing something that you didn’t even know was wrong … well that’s what that felt like. 😉

 

But my son and I both agreed that Valentino maybe deserved a second look and that we’d give them one more walk through before throwing in the towel.  The first time we did our ‘browsing’ in that store they seemed to be friendlier than the others and they didn’t make you wait in line outside to get in, so overall that store just felt more comfortable anyway.  So, we walk in and are immediately greeted by a lovely associate.  I shared with her that I was eyeing the black shoes in the window and that there maybe were a pair of sneakers upstairs that I might be interested in.  When she asked me my size, I panicked for a second realizing I hadn’t looked up the European conversion … uh oh!  So, I told her what my size was in the states and braced for attitude … but instead she was kind, told me not to worry and that she would figure out the conversion for me. I think at that point I just settled in to enjoy what was fast becoming a fabulous experience.  She found comfortable chairs for my son and I to sit while she worked to find me the shoes I was interested in.  She was attentive but not overbearing and didn’t try to upsell me.  And after 3 days fighting heat and crowds in Rome, just sitting for a bit in a chill, relaxing environment was a gift in and of itself!  It took her a while to come back and when she did, she apologized for the delay and proceeded to share that the only pair of black shoes that were in my size were on the mannequin in the window.  So, she had to get her manager to take down the mannequin to get me the shoes.  According to her it was ‘a process’.

 

Long story short, we were treated like VIPs by everyone in that store.  And instead of just choosing one pair of shoes … I ended up buying TWO PAIR OF SHOES … and after making my selection the associate treated us to a glass of Champagne to celebrate before we left! I mean Champagne … seriously??  What mother gets to say they bought their first pair of designer shoes in Rome while enjoying a glass of champagne with their son in Valentino?  Thanks to the Valentino team … I do!  The Valentino team got what it meant to deliver “Unreasonable Hospitality” and to give people more than they expect!  It was a part of their culture … from the ‘man in the black suit’ at the door who actually smiled, to the associate who took great care of us, to the man at check-out (who BTW had me when he looked at my DOB on my passport and protested that I could possibly be that old … awwwwhhh … he was good! 😊).  They created an “Experience” for us that we will remember forever.  Their kindness, effort, and intention on creating an experience allowed my son and I to enjoy a special mother / son moment and they not only got a sale - they got me to buy more than I had intended.  And the life lesson for my son (and candidly for all of us), is that (1) these special moments or experiences are worth the wait, (2) how you treat people matters, and (3) if you give people more than they expect it’s good for your soul and it’s good for business!   

 

Now what does any of this have to do with your role as a busy professional in whatever line of work you’re in?  My guess is that regardless of the type of work we lean into on any given day - our ability to be agile, to listen, to demonstrate empathy, and to not just check boxes - but rather seek out ways we can support beyond that of the initial ask … THIS is when we have the opportunity to give more than our stakeholders expect.  To go the extra mile and to carry a little more weight so their burden isn’t as heavy.  You never know the impact you could be making on someone’s day and how YOUR extraordinary efforts might have a ripple effect as the colleagues you’re working with or are supporting pay it forward.   I’d be curious to see where your mind goes when you think of “Unreasonable Hospitality” and how it might translate to the way you show up as a leader?  Ponder on this one, buy the book (the audio version is great too) … and challenge yourself to be “Unreasonable” today!

 

By the way … back to the shoes … first step was making my first ‘Designer Purchase’.  Now actually wearing the shoes will be a whole other story! 

 

 


But for now, grab that cup of coffee and remember … stay hydrated, eat healthy, take your vitamins … AND BE KIND!



Christine

 



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